Cupcakes
by GrapefruitSpritzer
Summary: The RFA get drunk and MC expertly pairs them off cuz why not. Just an April Fools crack fic for fun, this is not serious or compelling prose. Enjoy I guess? lol


Everyone was drunk. Well, except Saeyoung, but did he really need to be? The correct answer is no. No he did not.

"Let's play Never Have I Ever!" Yoosung suggested, grinning brightly at the group of friends gathered in the Choi's living room for the Official RFA After-Party™.

MC paused her wanton grinding with Saeyoung, cocking her head to the side and shooting the blonde a patronizing look. "There's no way we're playing that. You and Jumin will be stone sober while the rest of us are getting our stomachs pumped for alcohol poisoning."

Zen snickered his agreement, taking MC's hand and pulling her into a wobbly spin. "How about Truth or Dare then babe?"

MC giggled but shook her head. "Truth or Dare is so _cliché!"_ she insisted, spinning away from him and crashing into Saeran, who steadied her with firm hands on her hips. "I wanna play something that is gonna end with tears or sex. Or both."

"Would You Rather," Saeran offered mildly. "Twist is whichever you pick you have to do."

MC laughed and wrapped her arms around Saeran's neck, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"The quiet genius strikes again! I'm going first!" she declared, not waiting for anyone else to agree to the game or the terms. Typical MC. "Okayyyy… Yoosung! Would you rather! Give up LOLOL for one week, or make out with Saeyoung for one minute?"

Yoosung paled, then turned an impressive shade of crimson. "Uh...I..." he stammered, "Why do I have to go first?!"

"Because I said so! And I run this shit! Go!"

He groaned, glancing over Saeyoung, who was sprawled out on the couch with a shit-eating grin on his face. "A whole week? I guess...UGH GOD..."

With a small sound of determination, Yoosung marched purposefully over to Saeyoung, crashing his lips against the hacker's before he could talk himself out of it. MC whooped victoriously, while the others' reactions ranged from disgust (Saeran) to shock (Zen) to reluctant interest (Jumin).

Cheeks blazing, Jaehee eventually tore her eyes away from the display to check her watch. "Yoosung, one minute is – " she began, before MC clapped her hand over the older woman's mouth.

"SHHHH! LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS!" she stage-whispered, staring in adoration at the increasingly passionate display in front of her.

"You're the only one enjoying this," Saeran muttered, wincing as Saeyoung's shirt was ripped off. Despite obvious discomfort at his brother's very public make-out session, the corner of his mouth twitched up at the look on MC's face. "Your eyes look like anime hearts."

"It's everything I've ever dreamed of," MC sighed dreamily, clutching her hands to her chest.

"Pretty sure they're enjoying it as well," Jumin deadpanned.

Saeyoung responded with a distracted thumbs up, and MC dissolved into giggles. "Okay well since Yoosung is a little preoccupied, I'll go again. And Saeran, stop chugging whiskey, you're going to fucking die," she admonished, snatching the bottle from his grasp.

"I'm comfortable with that."

MC rolled her eyes and took a long swig of her own, before a sinister smile curved at her lips. "Zenny~" she sang sweetly, sidling over to the silver-haired actor. He smirked and caught her around the waist as she walked her fingers up his chest. "Would you rather...kiss Elizabeth the 3rd, or kiss Jumin?"

Zen's smug grin dissipated immediately. "But I...that's not...what the fuck babe!" he sputtered, while MC cackled with delight. "Neither!"

"You have to choose!"

"I...wha...Jaehee?" Zen whined, appealing to the one member he thought would take pity on him. Jaehee simply shrugged, bringing her wine glass to her lips to hide her smile. MC walked into the kitchen and returned a moment later, a fluffy white cloud in her arms.

"Pucker up Zenny!" she crooned, ignoring the look of disapproval Jumin sent her way as she pressed her own lips to the cat's head.

"AAAGHH! Stop – achoo! – don't bring it closer!" Zen shrieked, wiping his face on the back of his sleeve. "Fine! I'll kiss the trust fund jerk! Just...just get it away from me!"

MC grinned hugely. "Wait 'til I'm back!" she insisted, practically skipping into the kitchen to dump the cat while Zen glared at a typically stoic and impassive Jumin. When she returned she looped her arms around Jaehee's neck, pressing their cheeks close enough to skew her glasses. "Okay go!"

Zen didn't move, arms crossed petulantly, and Jumin raised one eyebrow. "It appears Zen is all talk," he said calmly, the corner of his lip twitching up in silent challenge.

Zen's face flushed with anger as he stomped towards the dark-haired man, grabbing the front of his shirt in one tight fist. Zen jutted his chin up, fiery red eyes meeting cool grey ones.

"I hate you," he growled, before yanking Jumin forward into a bruising kiss.

MC's breath caught, tears pricking the corners of her eyes at the absolute artistry displayed before her. "Aesthetic. As. Fuck," she murmured in a choked whisper, tightening her grip on the other woman.

Jaehee nodded solemnly. "It's like my world is in chaos but I don't want it to stop."

A soft_ glug glug_ caught MC's attention, and she reluctantly flicked her eyes away from her OTP to meet a pair of mint ones.

"GODDAMMIT SAERAN!" she screeched, yanking the whiskey away from him once again. Saeran's face scrunched up in pain as he silently pointed towards the couch, where a mess of blonde hair was bobbing up and down in his brother's lap.

"...Oh. Right," MC acknowledged, sympathy in her voice despite the interest on her face. "Though this was your idea to begin with, you know."

"So this is what regret feels like."

MC laughed, lacing her fingers with his. "Aw, don't be like that Sae-Sae! Besides, it's your turn! Would you rather~"

"No. You're evil. And I was in a cult, so that's saying something."

Her grin widened. "Would you rather…fuck me, or fuck Jaehee?"

Saeran blinked, surprise taking over his features for a fraction of a second before his gaze flicked appraisingly between the ladies of the RFA. MC caught Jaehee's eye and winked – despite the flush on her cheeks, MC knew she had the hots for the younger Choi twin. The straight laced assistant was a total slut for that bad boy persona.

"Both?"

"Both is good," MC agreed, while Jaehee nodded her own enthusiastic approval. A choked moan from the couch made her bite her lip in contemplation. "Maybe in your room though..."

"Definitely in my room."

The three of them had just closed the door when V's voice rang out into the bunker.

"Sorry I'm late everyone. I brought cupcakes!"

Saeyoung's head popped up from where it was lolled back against the couch. "Oooo, cupcakes!"


End file.
